Much Oblige

It's times like these I wish I was an eloquent writer. I want to do this blog post justice, but my thoughts are so scattered and it's been such an emotional week that I'm doing well to just get them down here.

It's been one week since my Popa passed away.  Even writing that sentence is difficult for me.  My great grandmother passed away when I was 7 years old but other than that, I have no experience with the death of a relative.  My Popa and I have had a close relationship my entire life so this has not been an easy time...for any of us, obviously.  I grew up seeing him multiple times a week, spending the night at their house, going to too many breakfasts at Braum's to even try to count, and listening to his crazy stories and songs.  He lived to tease and pester his grandchildren, or anyone for that matter.  He had a fiery temper that I saw him lose on several occasions...heaven forbid we try to drink a soda in the living room, spill our food at Sunday lunch, or not eat everything we put on our plates! :)  One of his favorite sayings was, "take all you want, but eat all you take."  I'm not sure he ever said thank you..it was always "much oblige" and he tried to teach all the grandkids his way of speaking, much to our parents' dismay.  When he would finally realize nobody was paying attention to his teasing or pestering or stories he would head to the bedroom, pull out his trumpet and start blasting songs on it.  There truly was never a dull moment with Popa and you never knew what to expect.  He was a man that put butter on his chocolate cake for goodness sake!

Popa liked to prove that he knew everything about everything.  And he kinda did!  Just read this excerpt from his obituary....

"Jerry had a 24 year career with the United States Air Force where he taught elementary school, taught fire fighting, and served a short time as a pilot. The remainder of his service was in Air Force Crash Rescue Supervision. He later had an 18 year career with the City of Sherman, retiring in 1991 as a Building Official. During this time he also taught electrical and plumbing maintenance classes at two Texas Instruments Learning Centers and taught classes in fire fighting at Grayson College. Jerry was certified as a fire fighting instructor and as a building, plumbing, electrical, and construction inspector."

Teaching, fire fighting, piloting, electrical maintenance, plumbing maintenance, construction.  He had his hand in everything.  He literally built the house that I came home from the hospital to.  Popa loved to let you know he was a know it all too.  He made sure to give my mom and dad and aunt and uncle and all of us kids (anyone who would listen, really) plenty of "advice" on any topic he felt we needed to hear about.  I doubt it was always considered friendly advice but he always felt like he was helping and would end it by saying "but you'll do what you want." 

You knew Popa loved you if he didn't call you by your name.  He had nicknames for everyone and acted like he didn't even know our real names.  He liked to assume the role of "Nic" at Christmas time and give everyone gag gifts that he didn't consider gag gifts.  I'm talking toilet paper, free gifts he'd gotten in the mail (flashlights, kitchen gadgets, clocks), and one year I got a pillow with a black Barbie on it. :)  I told you, he was a crazy old man!

In 2003 Popa had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery that we did not expect him to survive.  In the 10 years since, every illness has brought with it the thought that "this could be it."  But he kept trucking along!  Popa always wanted to do things his way or the highway so he wasn't leaving until he was good and ready.  This past year, his health started deteriorating more rapidly to the point that he was in and out of the hospital several times and finally moved into a nursing home this past summer.  I was able to travel home a few weeks ago to visit him, knowing it could be the last time I got to be with him.  He was so uncomfortable at that point, but made an effort to talk to me, tell me he loved me and my family and joke with me.  I made the trip against doctor's advice, since I was 36 weeks pregnant, and am so glad I did.  I'll treasure those last few moments I had with Popa and always remember them.  His last words to me were, "I sure do love you babe."

So at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant, I packed us up and traveled to Sherman to be with my family and say our final goodbyes to Popa.  My parents all but told me not to come, fearing I would go into labor on the side of the road. :)  But Jake and I prayed about it and we felt a peace and calm about making the trip and felt that everything would be fine.  Again, I'm so glad we made the trip.  I would have regretted missing it. The family night was so well attended...I don't think we realized the impact Popa had on people.  For example, the man that has been mowing my grandparents' lawn for 10 years (Raphael, but known to Popa as "Rojo" :)) attended and just didn't want to leave Popa's side.  Popa always had time to talk to him and that meant a lot to Raphael.  It goes to show you home much you can touch the life of another without even realizing it.  The funeral was Saturday and the services were perfect as well.  Popa was buried with military honors.  My mom asked me to take some video of the graveside part of the service and as weird as it felt to have my phone out at my grandfather's funeral, I'm glad I did.  We have some great video and pictures to always treasure as a family of the presentation of the flag to my grandmother and the playing of Silver Taps. 

I come from a very close knit family so we spent the entire weekend together, a huge source of comfort to each other.  Jake and Lizzie and I stayed at my grandmother's house with her which was such a blessing.  I enjoyed staying up late talking to her and spending time just being in her company.  She is such an amazing, strong woman, and a huge example to me in so many ways.  I'm blessed to have her as my grandmother and will treasure our relationship always.

So Popa.  Much oblige.  Much oblige for everything you ever taught me.  Much oblige for the "coke money", for the trips to Braum's, for the drives, the stories, the songs, the crazy gifts.  Even much oblige for the teasing, the pestering and that hot temper you passed on to me...because it means I'll always have a part of you with me...though why I couldn't have just inherited Mimi's sweet demeanor I'll never know.  :)  Much oblige for taking care of our daughter up in heaven these past few days before she comes to live with us here on Earth.  Did you already nickname her?  Teach her "Going Down That Road Feeling Bad?"  Tease her about boys? I'm sure you have.  I love you Popa...always have, always will.