Supermom?

I watched an interesting piece on NBC Nightly News the other night...it was short, just a few minutes long, but really hit home. It was about working moms. And I could completely relate. It spoke of how working moms try to do it all and have this view of being able to be "Supermom." It's hard to balance a job and a family. It just is. It can 100% be done, but it can be hard.

I love my family and I love my job. I know that I am supposed to be teaching right now...this is confirmed for me each day when my first graders walk in with big smiles ready for the day. I teach them to read, to write, about the world, how to be nice, to share...I tie shoes, give band-aids, regulate arguments...I'm a mom. At work and at home. But I will admit there are times where I feel guilty for leaving my sweet daughter....times when I'm literally exhausted and have zero ability to toss her up in the air and hear her laugh...times where I've used up all my patience at school with my kiddos and don't have any left at home. At first I had myself convinced that I was doing something wrong...because I was having a hard time feeling like I was doing a good job at school and at home. This is what the segment called the supermom complex...some call it plain old overachieving. I felt like if I was really doing well in one place, I was slipping in the other. I felt like a failure if I couldn't come home from a long day at school with enough energy to play with Elizabeth, fix a nice dinner, straighten up the house, give Elizabeth a bath and put her to bed, then get back to work on school stuff, etc, etc, etc.

Add on top of that, the fact that 90% of the moms I know quit their jobs to stay home with their child...making me feel like I was doing the wrong thing by going back to work. I even had a mom tell me it didn't seem right to leave her child in the care of another person just to go to work and couldn't fathom why anyone would be a working mom.

So needless to say I really struggled. But that was then, this is now. I worked my way through bouts of anxiety and depression with the help of my family and close friends. Am I the only working mom in the world? No. Am I doing something wrong by working? No. Does it mean I love Elizabeth any less? Of course not. If anything I appreciate and love her even more...and treasure our time together even more as well. I'll be the mom that is sad to see her children go back to school because that means no more spending all day together...not the mom who is happy solely because it means added peace and quiet. Some of the greatest moms I know worked or are working even though they had/have young children. I don't think they are anything short of amazing mothers so why should I think myself to be any different?

I'm not bashing stay at home moms either. I know stay at home moms have their own difficulties and it's not by any means a piece of cake. I was a stay at home mom all summer so I've lived in both worlds. But for me, being a working mom is harder. But did you know it's okay to let a few things slide? The house doesn't have to be perfectly clean every single night. Those papers can wait to be graded until tomorrow. Imagine that! When I realized that, life became a bit easier.

Elizabeth is too young to remember me working right now. She goes to an AMAZING babysitter who loves her like she was her own and takes amazing care of her. I am so lucky to have Missy. Elizabeth reaches for very few people, but Missy is one of them. I know she is in good care and that also makes it easier. Not easy...just easier.

So to you working moms... "Be gentle with yourself and accept that balancing work and family feels hard because it is hard, rather than feeling that guilty or unsuccessful if you can't devote as much time as you would like to your job and to your family."

I've been going back and forth for a while...trying to decide whether or not to click "Publish Post"...this is very personal and very opinionated...and I know not everyone shares my view on this and that's okay. Please know I'm not trying to hurt feelings or knock stay at home moms. Every mom, regardless of working or not, is a good mom if you love your child and take good care of them. And when it comes down to it...that's what matters the most.